Roof + Celina = Bad news....

So Wilfred- aka- Mamma's handsome man, has had quite the week. Last Thursday he was stung by a bee and half his face was swollen, now while I kinda laughed at this I was a little worried. Turns out he was fine.

Well this morning I received a call from Katie saying she hadn't seen Wilfred at all that morning which is unusual. I hadn't been home and went straight to work and thought all day...'Maybe I should go home and make sure he is in the house. So I went home on my lunch.
I began searching when I walked in the door to only see Lola and Henry, and I thought well Wilfred and Pearl will be sleeping under a bed together. Pearl was on my bed. So I began the search.
Closets, cabinets, dressers, dryer, washer, oven, microwave(yes), and then again... Every closet, cabinet, dresser even the cabinets that I cant even reach, and I found it odd that I could only hear him in the hallway under the swamp cooler. I thought 'Well there is no possible way he is on the roof.' So I went outside and stood on Betsy to see on the roof. No Wilfred, so I once again searched the entire house. And again the only time I could hear him was under the swamp cooler. Awesome. Now....we all know I on the shorter side of the height spectrum. Another little tid bit of info....I don't own a ladder. Why? BECAUSE I DON'T GET ON THE ROOF!!! Or so I thought.... After figuring that is the only place he could be, I spent ten minutes trying out different ways to get up there. Step stool to shed?-Nope, garbage can, cant even get up there so I brought the step stool to get on the garbage can. Turns out I'm an idiot and there is a chain link fence that is high enough to get on the shed.
So I climbed the fence, got on the shed (quite slick, and I hadn't thought in my scurry to change out of ballet flats.) and then to the roof. That little shit was under the tarp that covers the swamp cooler. How the heavens he got up there is beyond me cause he doesn't even have front claws. Whatever.
So after picking him up and loving him, he was a wreck. Hot, stinky, and shaking, I realized that I was pretty high ( I don't like heights at all) and began to wonder how I was getting down with a scared cat in my arms. After 5 min. of weighing my options I figured out that I was going to have to drop him from the shed(which is about 8-9feet) to the ground in the backyard and get down. Well Henry was super excited that I just so happened to be dangling Wilfred from the shed and when I dropped him (cats always land of feet, is apparently a myth) he proceeded to say (in Henry voice, 'Hey man, where you been? We've totally all been looking for you) whilst right in his face. Wilfred who was in no mood to chat with Henry jumped the fence and sat at the bottom of the shed screaming. All the while I was trying to shimmy my way off the shed back to the fence without killing myself. Saying to him 'Okay, its okay, I'm almost there.'
Well by the time I got down, Wilfred had decided I was taking to long and ran to the neighbors under there car, and of course right when I got there I was just in time to see the tip of his tail as he made his way up into the belly of the car. Great. I then spent the next 15 min. Trying to be soothing enough to get him to come down so I could drag him out and into the house. He finally did, but not before both of us were covered in dirt and grease. Mind you....I'm on my lunch. So after getting in the house and wiping him down and changing I grabbed a cup of noodles and came back to work. I get to the turn style just as I realize I forgot my badge on my other pants....FML.