Worst. Weekend.Ever

So I guess I shouldnt say ever, cause there were some good parts. But look. I was sick, real sick. I thought I had the swine. (really) Turns out just the regular old flu, its been a few years since I've had the flu so I forgot how HORRIBLE it is. It all started Friday when I was running around like a crazy person because I had to pretty much go straight from work to Jess's so we could go to a wedding reception. I didnt eat that night till about 930, which is no bueno anyway cause I get headaches and the nausea. So whilst eating my leftover pasta from Roosters, I thought the reason I wasnt feeling that great was that I had waited to long to eat. On to Saturday, pretty much the same thing, didnt eat when I was hungry so I thought I was feeling crappy cause of that. (not to mention I was second job hunting, which didnt go so well) But then dear old Mark came to my rescue and we went to dinner. Afterwards we wanted to go to the Fun-zone and go mini-golfing. (Its that Frogs place over by the the freeway it has everything) Well lets just say Celina ruined the fun-zone. 3min in and I was quite vomitous. So we left, and I barely made it to my own bathroom before the night really got fun. Sunday rolled along, and I was feeling a little better but still not 100% so I decided to take Monday off so I didnt give anyone else the swine. Monday morning was okay, but by mid-afternoon I was good. I was even going to mow the lawn but it still wont work. (a whole other story, Im pretty upset about it) Then to what did my little heart crave for dinner?? Meatloaf. Dont ask me why, I just wanted meatloaf, so I made it. It was heavenly... Till 25 min later that I was in the bathroom again....All night... worse then any of the other nights. Not eating meatloaf ever again. I felt like I had a hangover cause I just laid on the bathroom floor trying to get some zzz's cause whenever I left I had to go right back in. Awesome. Now, I didnt feel sore, or feverish, so I kept thinking WTF is wrong with me? I dont feel sick, till I eat. Jessica and Katie both came to the same conclusion....'Oh your prego'.... Sorry ladies, no I am not. Jess told me to prove it, and if I had felt up to it I was going to take home prego test to prove it. But why waste like 20 bucks. So Tuesday I rolled off the couch ( I had ventured there on my way back from the taking the bathroom trash out for a 2nd time, guess why I was vomiting in the trash) And went to the doctor. Who told me, " You have the flu, had you not eaten last night, you probably would have been fine, now you have to start over." Oh great. I didnt read the fine print that comes with flu's that says to not eat for 3 days thanks. So all I 'ate' was coke (for bubbles), water, and chicken broth (again dear sweet Mark brought me that, although he got me the wrong Jell-O I had no idea the snack packs of Jell-O could be so sick, and NOT strawberry dear, NOT strawberry. You have to get the sugar free citrus kinds, with only 10 calories per cup they are yummy....But he tried so I didnt say anything)
Today I am back at work feeling okay. Still drowsy from the anti-nausea pills they gave me, and was aloud to eat rice!! So on my lunch I went to the nearest fast chinese place and got only rice and egg-drop soup. I have never wanted real food so badly in my life. And now my stomach is grumbing at me again. Its not hurting, but its chattin it up with me. Great. I will never be able to eat anything again. Oh and just so we're all clear, I vomited everything I ate for 3 days, and havent really eaten since, and I still havent lost any weight. Just another bonus tid-bit.
On a lighter and not so gross note: Mark and I went and saw 'Angels and Demons' on Sunday it was pretty good, I liked it much better than 'The DeVinci Code' I think because I stopped reading Angels and Demons around page 40 to see the movie. I had read The DeVinci code and it was fresh on my mind when the movie came out so I loathe that movie. The parts they left out were like the most important parts. So I didnt read this book so I could watch the movie and not hate when they left parts out, which the first 15 min did piss me off, so there you go. I would have hated it. I am now going to read the rest, and fill in all the blanks they left out. But good movie I recommend it. This Friday, watch out people 'TERMINATOR!!!' So excited. Can you tell.

If I were President...

These are some thing I would change/do if I were President:

• Free health care: Why? Why not? I would pay higher taxes if I knew that I could get health care when needed. Canada seems to be doing well for themselves.
• Spankings gallor!!: Pretty much just that. Kids these days (yes, my generation and younger) get away with murder and I would give parents the right, again, to put the whoopin down on the kids. Lets get some respect back. With doing that maybe we could have Jess not have so many kids she has to deal with.
• No fat kids: That might sound bad, but really. I would make having obese kids child abuse. Cause hello. It is. Sorry, but your 1 year old doesnt need coke in there bottle. Also, Mcdonalds should not be your main source of food. And by the way, make your kid go outside and play, the sun is good for them. Video games = lazy, fat kids.
• Prego? No bars for you honey: It would against the law, not just frowned upon, to smoke or drink whilst prego. Just cause something is wrong with you mentally doesnt mean your kid has to come out with issues. Thanks.
• Famous? I dont care: I have issues with the rich and famous. Now, I wouldnt mind being them, but as president I would do 2 things. 1 ban most paparazzi. The only time they would get there pics would be at events ie... red carpets, premieres ect... I am an avid fan of US Weekly, but really? we need to be concerned a little more with what is going on in our country and world, and a little less about 'how stars are just like us' 2- put a 1mill. a year cap on all wages. Honestly that is a ton of money. But we dont need profess. athletes making 74mil for 4 years. Thats a bit ridiculous. You are doing what you love to do. Give some back to the people that are coming to watch your ass hit a ball. Also you break the law, spend your time with the rest of us. There would be no special treatment for the famous. O.J? Your ass would have been in jail a long time ago. Thanks.
• No homeless!! Because of all this extra cash floating around, there would be no homeless. Listen people no homeless means a lot more people are working, which means more people are spending, creating more jobs, and a great ecomony. Weird how that works right? Also I think if we took care of our homeless, our country would, in turn, be cleaner, nicer. And maybe people would'nt look at a homeless person and judge about how he got there when they know nothing of the situation (Ahem) Mace/Jeff. :)
• Schools: Schools would get a ton more money, teachers would be one of highest paid professions, but would have to have a masters, so they knew what they were talking about. Also if you didnt pass, you dont move on. Sorry, we want smart people to pass school, not just be a year older.
• Be kind to your pets: The laws on animal cruelty would increase significantly and get harsher. Why? People that are nice to animals are less likely to kill a person. Its true, google it. And guess what, if you dont want a pet, you dont have to have one. If you do have one, its your family. Dont be a dick. Food, shelter, love. All they need or want. Also, unless you are breeding the animal balls/uterus coming out. Again, sorry Jeff.
• Dont be stupid: Its quite possible that I would have something along the lines of 'Slapping police' Im sure they actually wouldnt slap you cause that is mean, but if you are being an idiot in public you will get a ticket. I dont mean your just ugly. I mean you are being totally disrespectful/obnoxious.
• Praise the Lord: I dont go to church but I wouldn't stand for 'In God we trust' to be taken out of anywhere. Im not saying praying in school would come back, just saying.
• The day of rest: Again with the no church thing. Im not saying you have to go to church. I just believe everyone needs one day where they are not working. So nothing would really be open on Sunday's. Try hanging out with family. You might learn something about them, or hey, maybe we would have less kids commiting crimes cause there parents were never around.

I bet all of you are glad that I will never be President. Could you imagine? This place would be a wreck, We get in wars cause I was having road rage. Geez. Also I would make myself Queen and thats no good for anyone!

Roof + Celina = Bad news....

So Wilfred- aka- Mamma's handsome man, has had quite the week. Last Thursday he was stung by a bee and half his face was swollen, now while I kinda laughed at this I was a little worried. Turns out he was fine.

Well this morning I received a call from Katie saying she hadn't seen Wilfred at all that morning which is unusual. I hadn't been home and went straight to work and thought all day...'Maybe I should go home and make sure he is in the house. So I went home on my lunch.
I began searching when I walked in the door to only see Lola and Henry, and I thought well Wilfred and Pearl will be sleeping under a bed together. Pearl was on my bed. So I began the search.
Closets, cabinets, dressers, dryer, washer, oven, microwave(yes), and then again... Every closet, cabinet, dresser even the cabinets that I cant even reach, and I found it odd that I could only hear him in the hallway under the swamp cooler. I thought 'Well there is no possible way he is on the roof.' So I went outside and stood on Betsy to see on the roof. No Wilfred, so I once again searched the entire house. And again the only time I could hear him was under the swamp cooler. Awesome. Now....we all know I on the shorter side of the height spectrum. Another little tid bit of info....I don't own a ladder. Why? BECAUSE I DON'T GET ON THE ROOF!!! Or so I thought.... After figuring that is the only place he could be, I spent ten minutes trying out different ways to get up there. Step stool to shed?-Nope, garbage can, cant even get up there so I brought the step stool to get on the garbage can. Turns out I'm an idiot and there is a chain link fence that is high enough to get on the shed.
So I climbed the fence, got on the shed (quite slick, and I hadn't thought in my scurry to change out of ballet flats.) and then to the roof. That little shit was under the tarp that covers the swamp cooler. How the heavens he got up there is beyond me cause he doesn't even have front claws. Whatever.
So after picking him up and loving him, he was a wreck. Hot, stinky, and shaking, I realized that I was pretty high ( I don't like heights at all) and began to wonder how I was getting down with a scared cat in my arms. After 5 min. of weighing my options I figured out that I was going to have to drop him from the shed(which is about 8-9feet) to the ground in the backyard and get down. Well Henry was super excited that I just so happened to be dangling Wilfred from the shed and when I dropped him (cats always land of feet, is apparently a myth) he proceeded to say (in Henry voice, 'Hey man, where you been? We've totally all been looking for you) whilst right in his face. Wilfred who was in no mood to chat with Henry jumped the fence and sat at the bottom of the shed screaming. All the while I was trying to shimmy my way off the shed back to the fence without killing myself. Saying to him 'Okay, its okay, I'm almost there.'
Well by the time I got down, Wilfred had decided I was taking to long and ran to the neighbors under there car, and of course right when I got there I was just in time to see the tip of his tail as he made his way up into the belly of the car. Great. I then spent the next 15 min. Trying to be soothing enough to get him to come down so I could drag him out and into the house. He finally did, but not before both of us were covered in dirt and grease. Mind you....I'm on my lunch. So after getting in the house and wiping him down and changing I grabbed a cup of noodles and came back to work. I get to the turn style just as I realize I forgot my badge on my other pants....FML.

Lately...I've been thinking...

Just some thoughts that have been going through my head lately:

• Why is it as soon as your day one hiccup they keep coming?
• Can cats be allergic to bee's, and if so should I take Wilfred(my handsome man) to the vet for his swollen cheek that looks like he has the mumps?-(Idiot, don't eat bee's, they bite back.)
• Why do I have road rage (like crazy road rage) when I know full well I suck at driving?
• How come dogs are always so happy even after being yelled at?...and how can I be more like that...
• Am I going to (one day far from now) be a good mother, and should I seriously think about taking anger management before thinking about kids. (seriously) * Read previous thought*
• Why with the older I get, the thought of kids gets more terrifying.
• How do I get a job putting trivia on sting cheese and why in the world are a cats whiskers called-vibrissae?
• Why do you always get home from someplace much faster than it took you to get there?
• Why can I not loose any weight??(oh wait, I have to go to the gym for that right?...)
• Why would Gold's gym be so stupid to shut down 12th street before really having a plan to have something other than 23rd for all 2472 1/2 people that now attend 23rd?
• If drinking 100+oz. of water a day can help you loose weight, can not making that goal just add water weight? (I have not had 100+oz. since writing the blog about a 'system' I had thought through.)
• Why is the book always better than the movie? And which is better to do, read the book first or watch the movie first? (I hated the movie The Davinci Code, but was the book and all the details to fresh on my mind?)- So should I wait to read Angels and Demons till after seeing the movie, so I'm not angry about what they left out?
• In 10 years are we going to learn that splenda, sweet & low, and all the other no calorie sweeteners causes some weird cancer? (If so, I'm going to be upset)
• When are we going to learn that to actually loose weight you have to do work, its never going to be in a miracle pill?(after work I'm stalking up on hydroxi-cut,they just took it off the market, I have a good liver, I'll be fine. :)
• Why does it cost more money to try and eat healthy then going to McDonalds and getting it 'super sized'?
• How is it we have sent a robot to Mars, but we cant make tires, or windshield wipers last forever?
• Why in every movie that is 'in the future' is there no trees and no nature, just really tall apartment buildings where we all live, with flying cars, and we all listen to someone on a tv? If that is our future count me out. I hate the mall, I dont need to live with everyone. Thanks.
• Why do people think Im mean, when in reality its all just being funny.? I'm not a mean person to anyone in real life, because when I accidentally make people feel bad, I feel horrible and vomitous.
• Is vomitous a real word?
• Why is it people are always so surprised when I will full out cry on a commercial, tv show, or movie? -Do you think my heart is that cold?
• Should I go back to school? (by school I mean the ATC to get a finance/accounting degree, not real college school. Thoughts of real college depresses me to the core of my soul,yes I have one.)
• Should I get a 2nd job to help with the mountain of debt I somehow have? And can I find something that is literally a few days a week after 6?
• Am I considered a 'grown-up' at 24? And if so why do I still feel like I should be in high school, not to mention look like Im still in high school.
• Do I intimidate people? ( I dont mean to, if I do)

And I guess lastly:

• Why do I have nothing interesting to blog about except random, useless thought that 4 people will read, all of which I talk to on a somewhat regular basis(Katie, Katchie, Jessica, Christy-Kay, and possible still Jeff, which Im sure he has stopped since Im not that interesting.)